The Art of Selfie: 5 Tips to Show Off Your Best Self in Relationships

Let me start by saying I think it is absolutely hilarious when people take pictures of themselves! Have you ever watched someone smile and pose as they take a selfie? Something about the moment between the snap and viewing is crucial, or at least this is my experience because my inner critic straight PUNKS me! It’s like I’m instantly drawn to the flaws in my selfie and it usually takes the next 5-6 shots to find the right background and angle. Then I have to choose a filter, think of a caption and wonder if it’s good enough to get for other people to like.

Does this happen to you too?

It takes a lot of self-esteem to show up in and to the world as who you are, flaws and all. I truly admire those effortless selfies, you know the ones with #Iwokeuplikethis and #nofilter. Me, myself, personally…not so much. I put an effort in showing my best self while fighting my inner critic who tells me lies to contradict who I am. It’s so easy to post your Perceptions, so understanding and learning the art of selfie will teach you how embrace your Reality and help you overcome your fears, worries and self-doubts blocking you from showing up in your relationships.

Here are five tips to show off your best selfie:


Always check the background:

How often do you use your smile to cover up what’s really going on inside? Be mindful of the Perceptions you give to others because you may start believing them yourself. Be intentional of what you want people to see and remember you can’t be who you’re not.

Hidden lesson: Clear your clutter instead of using it as a distraction.

Why aren’t you the main focus?

Know the angles:

Remember the crucial moment I talked about? I have a double chin, my nose spreads wider when I smile, my upper arms are not toned and sucking in my mid-section only lasts so long! In other words, it’s ok to take a few shots, find your angle and get your selfie right.

Hidden lesson: We all have flaws; good and bad can be subjective, so do what works for you.

How can embracing your Truth send a message to others about who you are?

Border, contrast, blurring…oh my!:

I mean really!?!? There are a lot of options to spruce up your selfie, so the question becomes…why? While it’s great to have choices, it’s important to remember who you are is more than enough.

Hidden lesson: You can’t please everyone, so there is no need to hide behind the filters. Be your authentic self.

Who’s approval are you seeking or who’s judgment do you want to avoid?

The caption doesn’t have to be a story:

Hey, I’m long-winded so I get how hard it can be when you don’t get the chance to tell your side of the story. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words and sometimes a visual speaks Truth by itself.

Hidden lesson: It takes 30 seconds to make an impression and everything about you says something about you.


What does your selfie say about you?

Likes don’t matter:

Wait, who am I kidding? Of course they matter, especially when you are feeling yourself! The art of selfie is worth more than “likes”. Sure, “likes” are great confidence boosters, however who you are is not determined by what other people like about you.

Hidden lesson: Understand your value and build a healthy relationship with who you are. Your Truth is the best confirmation you’ll ever receive.

It’s interesting how the things you are most insecure about seems to be what people view as your strength. Mastering the art of selfie will help you become more aware of who you are and how you choose to show up in your relationships. Remember these lessons; check your background and choose your best angle. Your caption should speak your Truth, and your worth cannot be validated by “likes”.

Soooo…how does your selfie show up in relationships? Take my free Relationship Quiz to get a snapshot of where you are today!


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Coach Shaquan

Hey there! My name is Coach Shaquan and I'm all about showing up authentically to build and maintain healthy relationships. My personal experience, professional training and absolute passion fuel me to teach what I learned to help you overcome the fears and challenges in your marriage or relationship. I work with people who WANT a healthy relationship, BELIEVE they can have what they want, and people who are WILLING to invest to get solutions that work. Is this you? Well you are in the right place. Let's do this!

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